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How To Stay Safe In An Abusive Relationship

If you are in an abusive relationship, but you’re not ready to leave, it’s important to do everything you can to stay safe.
We know you’re the best judge of what is safest for you and your children. Trust your instincts. We will always be there to support you.
To help, here are things that could help you make safer choices for you and your children.
Make a list of any emergency numbers you may need. This might include your local police, Women's Refuge, your doctor, a lawyer, your kids schools, plus your friends and whanau. Keep these with you. But remember, in an emergency always call 111.
If possible, get a cell phone and keep this with you. Work and Income New Zealand (WINZ) may be able to help you with this. Even a pre-pay cell phone with no money on it can be used to call in an emergency 111.
If it's safe, apply for a Protection Order. See your lawyer or talk to us about how to do that.
Develop a plan for yourself and the children about what to do if violence happens at home, or when you are out. Role play and practice the plan, so you remember what to do.
Let your friends and neighbours know that you have fears for your safety. Ask them to watch out and to call police if they hear anything unusual or concerning. You could set up a code to tell the neighbours you are in trouble e.g. ringing, hanging up, and then ringing again.
Tell the person abusing you, your friends and whanau/family that you are not going to put up with violence.
If possible, get your own house and car keys.
Open your own bank account and try to save some money.
If you have no money, talk to WINZ or to us about how you might get a benefit.
Photocopy personal documents and keep them with you.
We can support you with everything here and help if you need to contact other agencies or services.
Stay safe.


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